My friends and family have gotten used to me referring to my students as "my kids" or "my children." I do it so habitually now that it feels strange calling them anything but that. I spend over 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, for 9 months in a confined space with these little people. It's only natural that teachers and students form such a strong bond. I just wasn't aware of how tough it would be to let them go.
Before the first day of school, I took some time away from the craziness of setting up my room to write myself a letter. I was feeling overwhelmed and needed to let some thoughts flow out. I hadn't opened the letter until just a few minutes before I started writing this post. (I'd advise all first-year and every-other-year teachers to try this sometime.) The letter made me remember the emotions I was having before the first day. I was nervous and still having to pinch myself to make sure all of it wasn't a dream. The letter reminded me of some of the goals I'd set for this year. It also took me back to a few student teaching memories where I doubted myself and never thought I'd make it through. Look where we are now.
The beginning of the year and end of the year are very similar in the feels department. Nervousness. Stress. Wonder. Hope. I'm nervous to let my babies go off into the world and be on their own. Well, okay. Just in 6th grade, but still! I am stressed about completing the many checklists I've got to do and stressed that one of my kids will forget to say "bye" to me tomorrow. I'm wondering how in the world this year went by so quickly. And I'm so very hopeful that each individual student will continue to grow and strive for success, and also hopeful that they will take a thing or two that they learned in room 63 and hold onto it.
When you're in choir at Lake Highlands High School, it's tradition to learn the song "The Lord Bless You and Keep You." It's one of the first songs you learn together and it's usually sung by Seniors at baccalaureate or graduation. For some reason, maybe because it's catchy or because I was a choir lover, that song always seems to pop into my head around times like these. When I started thinking about the verse to associate with the end of the year, of course I began humming this tune.
The song comes from Numbers 6:24-26. In these verses, The Lord is telling Moses how to bless the Israelites, which helps us understand the purposes of blessings and prayers for others. When we pray for other people, we often pray for something specific. This prayer has 5 components that communicate a hope that God will protect, be satisfied and pleased, be compassionate and graceful, be there for you, and give you peace.
I pray this blessing for each of my students. I want them to know that as they enter 6th grade, Junior High, High School, the Real World, or whatever, they have this greater God watching over them and on their side. I want them to be able to lean on Christ's love and believe in themselves as much as He does. I want them to know that there is someone who will always be there to talk with them or hold their hand through tough times. I'm going to continue to pray for all of my students so that they might, in some way, feel the love that He has for them.
During this time of year, when the hugs get more numerous and the days seem to go by faster, I can't help but feel so thankful that I am able to do this job that I love so much every day. Sometimes, it might not feel like I love every minute of this job, but I most definitely wouldn't want to be anywhere else. The good days outweigh the bad. It's harder to remember the times that students frustrated you than it is to remember the times that they made you proud.
As my students leave me tomorrow, I know that they might forget that goofy 5th grade teacher who laughed at her own jokes, loved pink, and would do anything for chicken and waffles. Praying for them will be a way that I can make sure I'm still part of their lives. I've also spent the last two weeks writing in the 365 Days of Wonder books I was able to get funded by DonorsChoose.org. This was a way for me to say something to each individual and leave them with a little bit of my heart. This will definitely be something I try to do each year!
To all of my teacher friends, happy Summer!
"How lucky I am to have had something that makes saying goodbye so hard." -Winnie the Pooh
Through Faith in Him and the Fifth,
Meg
Just a few of the 365 Days of Wonder: Mr. Browne's Precepts books that I've been writing and and can't wait to give my kids tomorrow! Hopefully it will be just a small reminder of our wonderful year together.